Friday, May 25, 2012

TIME

Somehow three years have slipped by since I last wrote. How did that happen so fast without me noticing? Time is a strange and elusive thing, much like water. It's powerful, difficult to grasp, constantly changing, and manages to leak or evaporate out when trying to hold it back. It can take on any form imaginable and can be a good or bad force... sometimes it works for you and at other times, it works against you.

A week ago today, my husband and I drove to Vanderbilt University Medical Center in Nashville, Tennessee, to see my orthopedic-oncologist, Dr. Herbert Schwartz, for the last time! I had been a patient of his since 2002, when he performed limb-salvage surgery on my left forearm. I had a lemon-size cancerous tumor in my inner arm, just below the elbow called a soft-tissue sarcoma. It's a very rare and aggressive cancer and usually isn't detected until it has reached advanced stages.  Anyway, Dr. Schwartz released me from his care, and I am considered cured. But, I digress.  My point is that the past ten years have flown by and I find myself asking, "How did that happen so fast without me noticing?"  

My father was a stickler for being on time. When I was 18 and came home from a date 5 minutes past my curfew, my father was waiting up for me and he was not happy. I walked in and he launched into one his famous lectures. I protested that I was only 5 minutes late. He said that one minute past curfew is late and that being on time did not mean that I was in a car in the driveway, on the porch, or in the doorway. He said that being on time meant that I was in the house no later than the specified time, period! A few years before that, our family was preparing to leave home to spend a day on a nearby lake on our cabin cruiser. I was warned repeatedly by my mother and father as to how much time I had left before we were to leave. When the family filed out to the car to leave, I was busy searching for my tennis shoes and when I found them and went out the front door, they were nowhere in sight! I'd been left alone to contemplate the cost of not being timely. Lesson learned.

So, in early November, I will celebrate my 60th (gasp) birthday. Whoa!  How did that happen so fast without me noticing? Well, I really did notice recently in a big way. A twenty-something female offered me her seat at a party and called me a four-letter word... dare I say it?... "Ma'am"! I know she was being kind and thoughtful and sweet but I wanted to look her in the eyes and scream at her to not Ma'am me! Instead, I smiled my best fake smile, declined her seat, and thanked her. I told myself that I had survived a lot of things over the years that have made me smarter, stronger, wiser, and a much more interesting woman. I'm blessed to still be here and time has been a friend of mine. As for the future, I'm ready for whatever the passage of time brings me.

As a long-time fan of Pink Floyd, I'll leave you with an excerpt of the lyrics to their "Time". It says it so well:

TIME

"Tired of lying in the sunshine
staying home to watch the rain
you are young and life is long
and there is time to kill today

And then one day you find
ten years have got behind you
no one told you when to run
you missed the starting gun."

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